Stop Waiting to Be Ready – Just Start

Perhaps you will think you have to gain more confidence, experience, time, or even create a plan. You could be waiting for the perfect moment when you feel fully comfortable to make the move. But what is important to realize about “some day” is that it can take months, sometimes even years.

Whatever you decide on – making a new friend, becoming active in the dating world again, trying something new, or simply being more confident in your daily life- you will never be ready.

 

Why Do We Wait for Things?

 

At other times, being inactive may be a more sensible approach than being active, since if you stay in your comfort zone, you will never face rejection, failure, embarrassment, or doubt.

However, there are some negative aspects to such an approach.

In trying to foresee all the possible negative scenarios, you miss all the positive opportunities.

In other words, when a man goes on a date, he continuously tells himself, “Only after I am ready will I go.” If the person tries to make friends, he assumes he is not good-looking.

Such conduct is termed self-doubt, which complicates the person’s decision-making.

The solution to such situations is quite simple:

What can I do at this very moment?

 

Start Before You’re Prepared

 

Starting unprepared is not about doing things foolishly or failing to prepare at all. What it is all about is having the understanding that preparation can sometimes be an excuse not to act.

One does not need to know everything for sure before taking action.

Imagine dating. You may never know if the talk will eventually lead to a date. You may not know if the person will be interested in the same things that you’re into. You may not even be aware of whether you’re emotionally ready for a committed relationship.

But you can still have the chat.

You can still go on a cup of coffee.

You can still work on your profile.

It is still possible to put yourself into circumstances where networking becomes possible.

Being in that situation on your own will reveal what you really desire.

In particular, this applies to individuals returning to online dating. Information on “how to match with higher-quality people online” will help set one’s expectations when approaching such encounters.

 

Conquering Self-Doubt Is Achieved Through Action

 

It does not mean getting rid of all your insecurities.

Self-questioning thoughts are something everybody experiences. The important thing is that they can be acted upon.

Imagine a scenario wherein you wish to communicate with a person whom you like, but your inner voice keeps telling you, “No use trying. They will ignore you anyway.”

This could take you one or two hours for contemplation.

What if you try sending out a message and seeing how things unfold?

Only by doing something, not by thinking, will you receive any new information.

Either they will respond to you in a good or bad way, but at least now you know something—and more importantly, you’ve proven to yourself that you can deal with it.

 

Acting Despite Your Fears

 

Fear tends to arise when something is at stake.

Perhaps you are afraid of the risk of failure in a novel endeavor. Perhaps you are afraid of meeting new people.

The bravery of seeing through what needs to be done regardless of fear is not one of indifference to fear, but of knowing when fear need not control you.

It all starts small.

If being in contact with strangers makes you feel uneasy, start with social networking. If you start feeling uncomfortable during this discussion, you can try writing them a letter first. Although you will definitely feel awkward in the situation, you should prepare for the atmosphere. Starting with mature chat can be another gradual way to meet people and become more comfortable communicating before taking a bigger step.

That is all that matters.

 

Stop Waiting for Confidence

 

Confidence usually comes before the action in many people’s minds.

Sometimes, the exact opposite happens.

A small step is taken, fear is overcome, something new is learned, and then a little more confidence follows. The cycle continues until that which was once feared is no longer out of the ordinary.

So Stop Waiting for that magical moment when you will be brave.

Confidence is developed through experience.

Let us think about the case of riding a bicycle. No one would ever assume that confidence can be developed by watching others ride forever.

This is also true for romance, communication, work, and other parts of life.

 

Start with a Smaller Step

 

One possible cause of your inability to start is that your first step is too large.

Do not tell yourself, “I have to get back into the dating game.” Take a smaller step.

Tell yourself:

•   I will refresh my profile today.
•  I will reply to one message.
•  I will initiate one conversation.
•  I will have a short coffee meeting.
•  I will try something I do not normally do.

Small steps alleviate pressure.

Small steps also generate momentum.

The important thing is not the speed of your progress. The important thing is your progress.

 

Do Not Equate Imperfection With Failure

 

One of the primary causes of hesitation is the risk of failure.

However, your initial effort is expected to be imperfect.

The first date might go wrong. The first attempt at a conversation might feel forced. Your first try at something new might fail to produce your desired result.

None of these necessarily implies failure.

Every experience offers you knowledge.

Perhaps you learn something about yourself. Perhaps you find out a method does not suit you. Perhaps you learn how capable you are.

Perfection is never achieved in the first attempt.

 

Take Charge of the Next Step

 

Whereas those who struggle with dating due to uncertainty about what could happen would do well to make one connection rather than trying to find “the one,” those who are scared of being rejected would do well to be themselves and not try to be everything to everybody.

If your problem is setting boundaries, first identify where they are, then read about how to set boundaries early in dating as a useful starting point.

The more deliberate you become, the less you rely on luck.

 

You Don’t Need To Be Ready

 

There may never be such a day when you suddenly have everything sorted out and feel ready to go.

That’s fine too.

You can be scared but take the first step. You can be unsure but proceed. You can be confused but still make a smart decision.

You don’t have to have everything planned out.

You have to have the strength to take the first step.

So don’t wait for that perfect opportunity. Don’t wait for that time when you feel confident about everything. Don’t wait for that easy time.

Do something.

And then do something else.

Because there will be times when what you have been waiting for might lie on the other side of actually starting.