When He Says “I’ll Call You” and Doesn’t – A Comedy

Few things in dating have as much potential as the words, “I’ll call you.”

They seem straightforward enough. Even mature, almost. Not playful, not mysterious, not vague or uncertain. Just a guy who knows what he plans on doing; making a phone call to you.

And then you wait.

Five minutes go by.

Thirty minutes go by.

One hour.

You pick up your phone.

No messages.

Perhaps your phone has just suffered an emotional breakdown.

You check again.

Nothing yet.

You’ve conceded by the end of the night that “I’ll call you” might not have meant “call” at all, but rather a pep talk he was giving himself.

Welcome to the age-old riddle of modern dating: Why did he say he would call when he had absolutely no intention of calling?

 

The “I’ll Call You” Puzzle

 

There is always an innocent explanation.

He got busy. His meeting ran overtime. His phone died. He slept. He was sidetracked. Perhaps he forgot.

Humans are humans, and making one mistake doesn’t mean that a person is a bad partner.

But when “I’ll call you” is something that repeats itself, and it is then followed by total silence, then perhaps you’ve stumbled into the intriguing realm of dating warning signs.

The first time, you think, “That’s okay.”

The second time, you think, “He must be forgetful.”

The seventh time, you’re pretty much thinking about sending him an invitation to a date with the subject line: CALL THE WOMAN YOU LIKE.

 

“When I’ll Call You” Is Part of a Pattern

 

It is more a matter of the general trend than the fact that one call was not taken.

A person who is really willing to talk to you doesn’t have to be accessible at all times. But it means that, most likely, he should put some effort into backing up his words.

He says that he will call, and then he disappears until he decides to speak to you again – that may be one of the most evident red flags in dating.

And this is when the fun part begins.

You may find yourself turning into a private investigator.

You analyze the previous message.

You look at the punctuation.

You wonder whether “Talk later” meant later today, tomorrow, next week, or before you retire.

After that, you ask your friends for the proof.

“Do you think he meant that he will call?”

Your friend stares at you.

“He literally said that he will call.”

“Yes, but what if ‘call’ was symbolic?”

Now, dating is definitely a criminal investigation.

 

Identifying Red Flags in Your Love Life without Getting Too Serious about Them

 

The ability to spot red flags in your love life doesn’t always mean that you think all errors are unforgivable. It is about identifying consistent behavior. Learning to recognise toxic behaviour in relationships can help you distinguish between an occasional mistake and a repeated pattern that may eventually damage trust.

It is about identifying consistent behavior.

For instance, see these cases:

He promises to call, but fails every time.

Once? Okay. Twice? Maybe not so much.

He sets plans, but breaks them at the last moment all the time.

Everyone is bound to have emergencies from time to time. But if each date ends up being an emergency, there seems to be something fishy going on.

He apologizes, but continues doing the same things.

An apology is good. But continued behavior is better.

He talks to you when he feels like talking.

There might be an issue of imbalance of power in the relationship if he talks to you when it suits him alone.

He offers you promises instead of efforts.

“I will call.” “I will take you out.” “I will make it up to you.” At some point, the promises should be accompanied by action.

 

Poor Reliability Isn’t a Personality Trait

 

Now let’s discuss poor reliability.

While some people are naturally forgetful, others truly have trouble with time management. This is definitely not the same case when one lies and tells you what you want to hear.

The importance of reliability becomes very apparent as your relationship develops.

Think about having a relationship with someone who continually says:

“I will be there.”

But fails to show up.

“I will take care of it.”

But fails to do anything.

“I will call.”

But disappears into the Bermuda Triangle of no-show phone calls.

At a certain point, it is not the individual no-show that causes the problem. The problem is that you stop believing the person’s word.

It’s tough to gain trust when the person’s commitments have the stability of a wet paper towel.

 

The Problem Isn’t The Call

 

There are times when our preoccupation with the missed call becomes an overemphasis of the real issue,

Which is the following:

Can I trust him?

This is far more critical.

This may not be the reason since he might have forgotten all about it. Should he remember later, he will say sorry by telling me, “Sorry, I forgot.” Can I call you tonight?” He showed his responsibility.

However, should he ignore you, show up after two days saying, “Hey there stranger,” and act like nothing ever happened, you now know a few things.

It’s not the fact that his cell phone was silent.

It’s the fact that he made some statements that his words couldn’t. The fact that he made some statements that his words couldn’t. When getting to know someone through mature chat, for example, the same principle applies: pay attention to whether communication and actions remain consistent over time rather than judging the connection from a single interaction.

 

Should You Be Concerned?

 

Maybe not.

A single missed call is not sufficient evidence for writing an entire love story.

Think on a broader scale.

Is he always there for communication?

Does he show effort?

Does he admit if he fails to meet up with you?

Is there consistency between his actions and words?

Do you feel valued, or do you feel confused?

Such questions will help you identify human errors and dating mistakes.

After all, dating shouldn’t involve keeping track of someone’s promise list.

 

The Waiting Comedy

 

There is an inherent humor in waiting for a call that never arrives.

You place your phone beside you.

You increase the volume.

You ensure the battery is charged.

Make sure Do Not Disturb is disabled.

You even go ahead and call yourself from another phone to test if the phone itself is working.

However, he is out there somewhere doing his own thing, oblivious to the complete telecommunications investigation you have done.

However, humor is lost when waiting becomes the regular pattern of the relationship.

One should not always wonder whether the person will keep his promises.

 

Sometimes It Is The Red Flag

 

The most important thing to learn here is not “Don’t trust men who say they will call.”

What’s most important is that you be consistent.

Perfection is not required of all things in relationships, but commitment is required of everything. Mistakes happen to people, and people are busy. Life is hectic for everyone once in a while.

It’s what comes after that counts.

Is there any accountability?

Any communication?

Does the guy even try to do better next time?

Or is he just going to repeat over and over again, “I’ll call you,” while your phone remains silent?

When asking yourself about the red flags in relation to behavior patterns, you should start with the most basic one – is this person’s behavior consistent with his words?

Because when a guy tells you, “I’ll call you,” you should not need a private investigator, a psychologist, three friends, and a telecommunications analyst to know what happened.

Sometimes it’s simple.

Sometimes it’s the lack of a call that tells you everything.