When Your Date Orders the Most Expensive Thing on the Menu

It should be stressed that the main idea of a first date is to determine whether you match. But there could be something else taking place, spoiling everything. For example, while choosing from the menu, you notice that your date chooses the most expensive dish.

Of course, questions such as “Is it expected of me to pay the bill?” Do they realize the price? Is it necessary to mention the topic?” come into your mind. These situations may make dating difficult, since you and your date may never have discussed finances. However, ordering the most expensive meal does not necessarily mean that your date is impolite.

 

Why an Expensive Order Can Feel Uncomfortable

 

Talking about money can be an unpleasant topic on a first date, especially since you don’t know much about this person or what they expect to pay at the end of the meal.

Maybe you wanted to spend a specific amount of money on a date, but the person you are dating decides to order something that you were not planning to pay for – it might be an expensive dish or a bottle of wine.

Even though you feel comfortable, the increasing cost of your date can make you feel anxious.

The point is that this issue is not about the food itself but about the ambiguity concerning who should pay for the date.

 

Does Ordering Something Expensive Mean They Are Taking Advantage?

 

That does not mean it’s taking advantage.

In fact, there could be many reasons as to why they have ordered an expensive meal. Your partner might be a big fan of the meal; they might think that everybody will pay for their own, or they might simply not know how much the money bothers you.

It is better not to make any decisions based on just one thing.

Try to see the whole picture instead. What about their behavior during the date? Do they show consideration when settling the bills? Are they aware that their meal costs too much?

 

First Date Etiquette and Cost

 

There is no one-size-fits-all rule regarding payment during dating.

Some individuals think that whoever planned or initiated the date should pay for it. Some like to divide the cost equally. “Some people share the expense, whereas others cover only their own.”

Today, etiquette regarding dating is more concerned with communication than with following a particular rule.

If you take somebody to dinner at an expensive restaurant and tell him it is on you, he will definitely assume you’re paying the whole bill. On the other hand, when you ask someone to have dinner with you without making any further arrangements, each of you may think that you will pay for yourself.

The trouble starts when both parties have their own assumptions.

 

What Should You Do if You Have a Budget?

 

Having a budget doesn’t mean that you’re cheap or unrealistic.

When you realize you need to control your expenses, choose a suitable restaurant. You can even clarify this ahead of time.

For example, a statement such as “I was expecting the dinner to be informal and that we would split the cost” would prevent any future misunderstanding.

No need to wait for the bill to come to realize that you had different thoughts on what you agreed upon.

 

Splitting the Bill When It Makes Sense

 

One obvious solution in this situation would be to split the bill when both individuals are willing to pay separately.

What makes it difficult is the perception that splitting the bill equally into two may not be fair at all times. This is evident when one person orders the cheapest item on the menu and the other orders the most expensive. The two people will prefer to pay individually rather than split the bill equally.

“I’ll just take care of my own order.”

Or:

“Would you mind splitting the bill according to our orders?”

 

Watch Their Reaction

 

The way they respond when talking about money may tell you more than how they originally ranked things.

If your date says, “Sure, no problem at all,” that will fix everything right there.

However, if they get angry with you, pressure you to pay and insult your financial status, that could become an issue in itself.

People in a healthy relationship should know how to set boundaries, and you shouldn’t feel bad about setting your own.

Being on dates with someone does not necessarily mean that you will spend your money.

 

Do not Make Assumptions Hastily

 

A very important lesson you must learn on your dates is not to read too much into a single experience.

That your date chooses an expensive meal doesn’t necessarily indicate that they are selfish or just want to use you for financial gain.

But asking for an economical meal doesn’t always mean they share your perception of costs.

This will be determined by their way of life, social and economic background, preferences, and other similar things.

It is for this reason that you should try not to form negative views of each other but learn from one another instead.

As you have started pondering how certain dating scenarios might affect your expectations, reading our blog on being ready to date would be beneficial.

 

Managing the Bill Without Drama

 

In case the bill comes, keep your cool.

If you have decided in advance to foot the bill, it won’t be difficult at all. However, if that does not happen, just inform your date.

If there has been no discussion at all on this front, you could ask:

“How would you like us to split the bill?”

In this manner, both parties will get an opportunity to air their views without sounding accusing.

If, however, you find yourself unable to pay your date’s expensive bill, you could openly address the issue by saying:

“I had expected that we’d split the bill. So, I will take care of my share.”

 

Dating Expectations Should Be Discussed

 

It should be noted that each individual goes into a relationship with certain expectations.

Some consider paying for a meal a romantic move while others want financial freedom right away.

None of these strategies will suit everybody by default.

The key is meeting someone who shares compatible expectations with you.

You will also notice that this rule applies to other first-date situations.

 

The Real Lesson You Learn from an Expensive Dinner Date

 

The most expensive food on the menu does not always present the main problem.

What is important is whether you can speak with your partner if you expect different things from the date.

If you are ready to spend, then fine. However, if you would like to split the check or have your own budget, let your partner know. Also, try to hear what they think about the matter.

When dating, you find out whether you are compatible, and spending money is part of compatibility too.

Thus, even if the dinner comes out more expensive than expected, there will be something useful for you to learn. Rather than concentrate only on the cost of the food, notice how both of you discuss the matter.

In any case, a good date is not defined by who orders the cheaper or more expensive dishes. A good date is when two people have fun together and treat each other honestly and respectfully.