The Art of Playing It Cool (Without Being Cold)

The act of dating is somewhat delicate. You have to show interest, but not so much that you overwhelm or pressure the other individual.

This is when playing it cool comes into play.

Between being cool and being emotionally aloof lies a very fine line.

The objective is to be engaged yet not dependent, confident and in control.

But how can all this be achieved without being too serious?

 

Playing It Cool – What Is It All About?

 

This does not mean that you have to lack emotions towards your lover. It means that you allow everything to flow naturally.

A comfortable datable individual does not have to respond instantly, follow up excessively, or try to analyze messages.

He can chat with someone and still maintain a life beyond the connection.

In modern times, when it comes to dating, there’s even more pressure to find that balance, given how constantly you can be contacted through text and social media. When you don’t respond immediately, it is taken as very important, even though it’s just about being busy.

If you are wondering how long you need to wait before replying, then read our article on how long to wait before texting.

 

Confidence Is Certainly Preferred Over Disinterest

 

There is a popular myth that the best way to get somebody interested in you is to play hard to get.

But it’s not like that.

Being confident is always much better than pretending to be indifferent.

There is no need to feel the necessity of constant validation. While you may think you had a good date, you do not need to ask what comes next immediately.

Everything is dependent on emotional stability.

Please think about ways to enjoy being with this person rather than on how to make the person chase you.

 

How to Make Sure Your Messages Sound Natural and Cool

 

Texting is among the easiest ways to appear either too distant or too enthusiastic inadvertently.

When searching for cool texts, don’t concentrate on the complex sentences meant to arouse jealousy or enigma. Be sincere and conversational in your texts. Keeping the conversation natural is also important when learning how to ask someone out, because confidence works better than trying to create artificial mystery.

Thus, rather than writing:

“Why haven’t you answered?”

Use a sentence such as:

“I hope you’re having a good day “

Also, avoid repeatedly pestering about your interest.

Examples of cool texts include:

•         “It does sound interesting. How did it turn out?”
•         “Well, I have your attention now.”
•         “I enjoyed our time together. Let’s hang out sometime again.”
•         “There is no hurry; inform me when it is convenient for you.”
•         “That made me smile. You are mischievous.”

Now, the important point is that you should not give the impression of being aloof but of being at ease.

But then again, at the start of communication with any individual, it must be kept in mind that ease does not mean boring all the time. Sometimes, it might be appropriate to give an interesting introduction of yourself.

 

Should You Play Hard to Get Over Text?

 

If you’ve been wondering how to play hard to get via text, know that you certainly are not alone in this endeavor.

But of course, not responding to texts, responding to your texts even when you can but only after a long while, and using single-word responses may be considered detrimental to your side.

Not replying to texts instantly because of your very busy schedule is alright.

The issue arises when this tendency of yours becomes a habit.

In place of playing hard to get, be easy to respect.

Have your own agenda. Do not cancel all of your plans for a date. Do not put yourself at the beck and call of someone just because you met a few times.

 

Determining if the Other Person is Playing It Cool

 

This is not something you always have to do alone. This also applies to your crush.

To avoid any misunderstanding of him, you must understand the signs of his coolness when he likes you.

He could:

•         Think of ways to initiate a conversation.
•         Remember all the little things that you’ve said.
•         Be warm even if his responses are delayed.
•         Attempt to meet you in real life.
•         Banter with you playfully.
•         Be interested in your life.
•         Seem interested without making advances.
•         Pull back sometimes, even when he shows his interest.

While not all these signs point to romance, the sign that says it all is effort.

Just because somebody likes you doesn’t necessarily mean that he is good at communication. He should learn how to communicate.

 

Avoid Confusing Mysteriousness With Mixed Signals

 

Some mystery in your dates could be fun. But confusion never is.

If someone tends to disappear, contradict himself, is unresponsive, reschedules, and gets back to you only when it suits him, do not hastily conclude that the individual is simply “being cool.”

Sometimes, being lazy can actually imply lack of interest.

That is why it is essential not to overanalyze someone’s behavior. Instead, take into account their behavior as a whole, not just one message, a delayed reply or a single silent day.

Good feelings should become obvious sooner or later.

 

Give People Space without Distance

 

Giving them space is another. It’s an easy way to appear cool without being cold.

This does not mean you should be in constant conversation with everyone. Allow them to come to you sometimes. Keep on with what you are doing, such as your work, your friends, your hobbies, etc.

Do not hold yourself back emotionally to remain mysterious.

If you enjoyed talking to someone, say so. The same principle applies to online connections: sex chat can be playful and engaging without requiring you to constantly seek attention or validation.

If you want to see them again, suggest it.

One should not feel any shame regarding that.

 

The Real Secret to Playing It Cool

 

In the end, the best strategy for playing it cool is not to play any game.

Show interest but never become obsessive. Show availability but never become dependent. Show affection but do not need constant validation.

Going on dates gets significantly easier when you are not trying to manipulate how fast someone falls for you.

You cannot force the spark to work. It is not necessary.

Allow it to occur in its own way. Pay attention to effort, commitment, and compatibility. Above all, know that their reaction has nothing to do with how you perceive yourself.

No matter how cool a person is, they don’t have to be the slowest person around when it comes to responding, and everything shouldn’t be a big secret.

The coolest person is the one who is at ease with themselves and knows what they need.